March 8, 2024

expectations

Dear Reader,

I think most people often write off quitting due to a lack of motivation or discipline. Those who are more self-aware may attribute it to the influence of their environment. But I found the main reason for me was my expectations.

The problem is that an expectation to succeed comes with a healthy amount of doubt and a slight uncertainty of failure. While these thoughts start small, over months of tireless effort with nothing to show, they can grow into a great force that you must fight to keep out of your mind. And if you stop fighting, even for just a moment, it creeps into your self-image and tells you that you are a failure, completely invalidating your efforts.

So, what's the lesson here?

The problem isn't expecting to reach the destination, but failing to set expectations of the path to get there. This is what caused the most emotional resistance for me. I had to accept that when I'm embarking on new adventures, it is normal to fail and not see any results in the beginning.

No matter how much you learn, you need time and practice to build your skills and competency to reap the rewards you seek. If you are beginning something new, remember to give yourself the grace of failing, learning, practicing, and growing. In the end, isn't it all just a part of the journey?

Good things take time. It takes time to learn what's required. It takes time to build the right skills. It takes time to meet the right people. It takes time to find the right opportunities.

No matter what others may tell you, remember the journey isn't so black and white. Looking back at my past achievements, I can identify very distinct phases of growth that I could share with others in simplified steps. But it doesn't change the fact that in my experience of achieving it, it is experienced as an ongoing reflection, iteration, and progression.

So, if you find yourself slowly losing hope, I hope this letter can be a reminder for you to reflect on your expectations for your journey.

Chris X