March 4, 2024
Dear Reader,
One bad interview changed my life.
The interview was for a software development job at my university. I prepared the night before as I would for any other job. I researched the department I was applying for, revisited the responsibilities of the position, thought of relevant questions to ask, hung my outfit by the closet, and stored an extra copy of my résumé and references in my bag.
The next morning, I went to campus early for the interview and rehearsed some of my responses in my head while I waited. 30 minutes later, a woman came to direct me to the office where the interview would take place. On our way, she mentioned how impressed she was with the simple designs and colors I had in my résumé to make it more visually compelling. Not knowing what to say, I awkwardly thanked her.
When we got to the office, I saw a man seated behind an office desk looking at my university transcript. He told me to have a seat. He didn't greet me. He didn't ask me any questions. He just told me for the whole "interview" that my grades weren't good enough and I wasn't cut out for the job. He told me how I should study more and how disappointing my life would be if I didn't.
About halfway through the interview, the woman suggested to the interviewer I could answer some of the interview questions they prepared. But he quickly replied, no. The woman apologized. It must have been one of the most embarrassing, humiliating, and embarrassing moments of my life. As I walked out of the building after the interview, I quietly wept in the gaze of other students who were walking by.
I grappled with this event for the next month, working to figure out its meaning. It didn't sit well with me that I had to feel so emotionally abused for nothing. So, I began to think. What could I learn from this? Why did this happen? How can I use this event to serve me?
In the first week, I villainized him. I convinced myself he was the worst person I've ever met. I spent my idle hours thinking about the things I wanted to say to him. In the second week, I learned to think of the interview as a blessing. I reasoned that I would've hated working with him anyway. In the third week, I thought about what caused the event. I considered if I had better grades, maybe I could've avoided the whole situation altogether. In my last week, I learned to accept the event for what it was. Although I tried my best in school, my grades weren't the best. I learned to acknowledge that it wasn't how I expected it to go, but it was what happened.
When I got to this place of acceptance, I realized that I was pursuing a career I was neither interested nor talented in. It was a path I chose because I didn't want to fall behind my classmates who would graduate before me. It was clear to me that what I needed was to stop comparing my journey with others and find out what was truly important and meaningful for me. I dropped out of college a few weeks after to start my first business.
When I told my friends I was dropping out, many of them tried to stop me from dropping out. They tried to tell me how irrational it was. But I knew it was the right decision for me at the time. I can't tell you that I have achieved everything I wanted in life since then, but I can tell you I feel a sense of belonging with the path that I'm on now and I'm enjoying the journey. My road certainly is not for everyone, and it is not meant to be, but it is certainly the right path for me.
If you take away something from this letter, I hope it's that you find the path that is right for you. It may not look like the path your family, your friends, or even your role models took. But I hope you find comfort in knowing that the path and adventure are yours to discover and experience. And when you do find and embrace a path of your own, I hope to hear about it someday.
Chris X
