What does indecision look like in your life?

January 8, 2025
9:55 PM

Last year, I bought a premium gym membership for one whole year in April as a birthday gift to myself. I went to the gym almost every day for 3 months, seeing incredible results in my energy levels and physique. I developed a healthy daily routine of going to the gym and then to a big library across the street to work. Life was good.

But one day, I was overwhelmed with my projects and decided not to go. The completion date I set for myself to finish my work was quickly approaching and I wasn’t going to meet it. In my mind, it seemed like if I didn't complete the project on time, it would make it okay not to honor the completion dates for future projects. So, I decided to skip the gym and work from home to save some time.

The next day, I was in the same situation and I made the same decision. I justified to myself that missing one more day at the gym wouldn’t kill me. However, after finishing the project, I kept finding more projects to work on. Slowly, I placed the gym further and further in the back of my mind to avoid feeling the guilt of not going. Eventually, the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months.

Today, 5 months later, my mom asked me, “Why don’t you sell your gym membership if you’re not going to use it? There's a lot of people who want to go to the gym at this time of year.” I considered it for a moment. I didn't want to sell it because I would be committing to NOT going to the gym and I don’t want to make a decision that will devalue my health. Yet, I’m not prioritizing going either and my health is suffering all the same.

This is what indecision looks like in my life. Well-set intentions that are interrupted and neglected from prioritizing my work. There is a saying that what you prioritize first will always come first, but what you prioritize second will never come. If I care about my health, I need to make the time to care for it. More importantly, I need to protect my time for health when other priorities want to intrude.

There is a difference between knowing what something is and knowing how it happens in your life. Take some time not just to learn why something is important to your life, but to explore what it looks like in your life. Seek to identify the moments when you’re falling into the same pattern to prevent it from happening. Make the lesson your own.

Chris X
10:22 PM

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