What is one aspect of yourself you most struggle to develop?

January 17, 2025
11:07 PM

Of the many aspects of myself I have struggled to develop over my lifetime, one of the most challenging has been my lack of empathy. As the biggest cause for most of my problems in my relationships, it has brought more misery and loneliness into my life than anything else.

For most of my adult life, I have learned from the self-help industry how important focus is to my success. Yet, by focusing only on my career, I made little effort in my relationships to understand and forgive the actions of others that negatively impacted my life. Eventually, I distanced myself from most of my friends, focusing on my own growth.

It was hypocritical of me. I wanted to be a good person, but I didn't think to be a good friend. I wasn't willing to understand and work through the actions and decisions of my friends as I was with myself. I made their actions absolute. I didn't allow them to learn and grow with me through our misunderstandings and mistakes.

I believed their actions reflected their values, and if their values didn't align with mine, I was better off alone. I expected them to be a good friend when it was something I didn't seek to be myself. I made my relationships a place I went to receive rather than a place I went to give.

Today, I reflected on one of my past relationships with an old friend who I thought to be inconsiderate and self-centered. I began to ask myself about their goals, beliefs, and values. I pondered what they might have been feeling and what they intended when they made their decisions.

Slowly, I began to realize my friend was only reflecting back to me a part of myself I wasn't ready to accept. He was only acting in his best self-interest as I did when I distanced myself from him. With my realization, I felt my grip on my buried feelings of anger, betrayal, and resentment begin to release.

I think respecting each other's journeys means we acknowledge our misunderstandings that come up every now and again, and it is wise of us to cultivate the willingness to work through them, especially when our journeys conflict. Relationships, like all things worth having, are worth fighting for.

Chris X
January 18, 2025
12:16 AM

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